My Dream Wedding

I don’t know if I’ll marry or not; God is yet to reveal His plan for the rest of my life. I may never marry and that is fine with me but as a woman approaching her thirties, I have thought about marriage and wedding days and what I believe would make a wedding celebration most beautiful for me.

I believe the most important thing for me would be authenticity in the way the wedding celebration is to be conducted. First and foremost, I would not want to spend more money than my family and I can afford to on an event that is not sustainable. I don’t come from a rich family; we have always lived on a budget and we seldom splurge on unnecessary luxuries. That is the life I know. So, I think it would be unauthentic of me and my roots if we focus too heavily on areas where a big budget is required.

Secondly, I desire to marry in a puanchei or any other puan that has been weaved in my homeland. Our local weavers are extremely skilled and it would be a privilege to be married in one of their creations. As somebody who believes in promoting local artisans and small businesses, I would also be playing a small minor role in doing that on one of the most important days of my life.

Thirdly, I would rather do without a make-up artist on my wedding day. This is not because I have something against make-up. In fact, I use at least one item of make-up every day. And I believe that when make-up artists enhance the beauty of their clients, it is a work of art that deserves respect and recognition. But when it comes to me, I’d really prefer to work on my look on my own. This is not because I am a make-up expert but because I do not want to hide or disguise the blemishes on my skin or the imperfections of my physical appearance. I learnt early on in life that physical beauty is not to be my greatest attribute. No man is going to fall in love with me just because of the way I look. I am not saying this with rue or discontentment in the way God has created me, but with an accepting heart. So if I am to marry, I hope the man I marry and his family will accept me just as I am, flawed in and out, even on the wedding day.

I normally am not very fond of big crowds, so I must admit I am not a very big fan of going to weddings. It also helps that I do not have too many friends. So I don’t really expect a huge crowd at my wedding. I don’t think it is the number of people, or gifts, or the feast, or flowers (though I love flowers) or any other material thing that make a wedding beautiful.  That two people would want to commit to each other for their whole lives and that two families would approve of and bless their desire to commit is in itself already beautiful, and nothing short of a miracle. So, for me to have the people I love and care about as witnesses of my promise would be enough for me. I really do not need a big crowd.

Now, having said all these, it takes two parties for a wedding to happen. And I am fully aware that everything cannot /will probably not work out as I desire. Several people are involved in the process and it is usually the elders in the family who make decisions. Besides, it would not be fair on the man I am to marry if I make crucial decisions all on my own. So, ...