CLOSURE

closure does not make a grand arrival, it is not a one time event, not an epiphany, not a eureka moment, it does not have fixed borders, or measurements, or a solid form



closure is each moment reality sinks in
each moment impossible desires are dismissed
each moment the sun sets, and forgets to rise
each moment songs fail to be music
each moment a backward glance disappoints
each moment the horizon looks weary
each moment unsure little steps are taken



closure is a process that takes a lifetime, and is only fully realized with one's last breath

2016.

The year I learnt to love sunsets more than ever. The year I let go of a few cherished desires because they had to make way for new ones. The year with a shaky beginning, followed by a few rough months, the happiest and most exciting summer I've ever had and a shaky but still beautiful end. 

The last sunset of 2016

2016 made me see what I could be, made me lose some inhibitions. 2016 changed me. 2016 made me laugh, a lot. 

2016 will always be summer, for me. 

When you really want to get to know somebody, saying "Tell me about yourself" does not suffice. You look at the looks on their faces when they are on the phone, with their parents, their siblings, their friends, and unknown strangers who turn out to have dialed wrong numbers. Looking into their eyes, and lips, you can see how they feel about the person on the phone with them. The expressions on their faces will tell you enough.


It is not enough to ask what they like to eat, you have to watch closely, and listen carefully to find out why they like to eat what they like to eat.  Because knowing that will tell you so much about the person you want to really know.



You have hold their hands during a storm to know if it frightens them, and listen to the beats of their hearts. Their "No" could be a disguised "Yes". And if their shaky hands and rapid heartbeats tell you that the storm frightens them, try to find out why. There will lie a story, locked away with rusty keys.



If birds and cheerful little streams make them smile, look into their eyes and ask them. Ask them what they like about birds, and little streams. Try to know if they are envious of them, for birds can fly and streams are always on the move.

Conformity

There, where four and four

do not always make eight

there is room for six minus two

to be eight and not always four.

There red goes with orange

and orange with pink 

and pink with red

and black stands for light

There straight lines have curves 

and parallel lines meet

inside circles that are rectangular 

decorated by bows and arrows.

There ice is warm and even hot

on the good days fishes climb trees

the sun is a moon, the stars planets

the earth a watery desert. 

There, where being a Christian 

means more than church attendance 

and modestly covered bodies 

that judge and shame others.

There the colour of my hair

can be the colour of my blood.

An Aizawl Tuesday

Having a rare free-from-all-obligations kind of day today, I got to hang out with some of my favourite people, and check out a new eatery called Flavors of Korea.

We knew the area where the restaurant is located but not the exact location, so being easily confounded with directions, we had to walk up and down the street before we finally found it. 

We had walked past it twice without noticing it :D We entered and were initially a little confused with the items on the menu but eventually we got around to making our orders.

We ate. We drank. We laughed. We talked. We enjoyed each other's company.

After our stint there, we moved towards Thakthing Bazar where we went to check out second hand coats because chill is in the air.

We found many we liked, and had we as much money as we would like to have, we might have bought enough for an entire football team. But we didn't, for obvious reasons.

We then went to Kulikawn so that the fiesty one among us could get warmer clothing, and more importantly, permission to eat out for dinner. The cool parents obliged. 

Then we headed towards Chanmari to have our dinner at Red Pepper Restaurant. We had a good time - talking both sense and nonsense. The service there is always good, sometimes even better than the food (not that the food is bad, the point I'm trying to make here is that the service there is quite good :3 ). 

After dinner, we decided to go visit our friend at Ramhlun Venglai. So RV (no pun intended) bound we went. 

When we get to be together, we always have so much to talk about. Random topics come up, and time always seems to fly (literally :p ) 

We did a little photo shoot at the friend's place before we left amidst her throwing a tantrum - crying and begging us to stay longer.

Here is me in my #ootd 

This picture of mine was taken with an iPhone 7 which is not mine, for reasons that mainly have to do with the financial :D 

I am wearing a hand-me-down floral dress given to me by a great aunt. I don't know how old the dress is (younger than I am, I pray). I thought I'd pair it with black boots. I have often been told that I have a tomboyish edge to me, that perhaps explains my love for boots (of all kinds).

And I'm wearing minimal make-up. Minimal meaning foundation, liquid eyeliner, a little eye shadow and lip gloss. That may not be minimal for some. And oh yes, I highlighted my eyebrows too, as best as I could. 

I am not really that good with make-up, I can only work the very basics which is why I'm not posting any close-up shots here :D 

Anyway, if you're still reading this, I hope you have a good night or day :)

of sunrises and sunsets

12th July 2016 Sunset

when no two sunsets nor sunrises are ever the same

how could we - you and I

ever hope to feel the same

about the past, the present, the future

and the horizon and the promises it offers.

Me - a "hnam phatsantu"

I am labelled-

a traitor, a disappointment

a Judas, a theological sinner

an ethnic shame.

Parents advise their daughters

“Mami, ani ang hi chuan
awm ve reng reng suh.”

Brothers tell their sisters

“Mami, nang chuan
‘Zo tlangval ngei’ ti tlat ang che.”

I am the cross

an entire tribe has to bear,

the inciter of gossip,

the source of a rumour

that is all so true.

With my voicing the phrase “I do”

A sentence has been passed

To exile me forever

From a land I call my home

My people have distanced themselves

From me, the "hnam phatsantu".

I have been hanged in public

My head shaved bald.

My story of love is my tale of woe

Love is a curse, a thorn in my flesh.

It has made of me a Gentile

In a Jewish land.

Now, I only dare seek solace

in the reassurance of knowing

the final and most crucial judgement

is to be made by the Jehovah

who made all men,

and loves all equally.